I've realized just how much time has passed since I've posted to this little blog. The chemotherapy has really addled my brain it seems. I have a limited concept of time these days and remembering anything is laborious and typically winds up in me becoming frustrated and STILL not knowing what I was doing, supposed to do, or anything else. But I did have a flash of...something...today that made me sit down and write. And I don't even know what to say. Well, firstly, my oncologist has declared my leukemia in full remission. I should be celebrating but the victory is bittersweet. For CML remission is more like suppression meaning that the mutated stem cells are still hanging around and are still producing mutated white cells or they're simply lying dormant for the time being. So barring a complete stem cell transplant I'm still sick and will remain on chemotherapy forever. It's all quite heavy to think about anymore. I've never realized how fragile life was until recently and that concept has got quite a lot of gravity around it. I've also been a little depressed lately being back to work and not enjoying killing myself there for peanuts. I thought my life would have followed a very different road and typically I can smile and make it through. Lately I've been enjoying feeling sorry for myself and internally having a pity party. I still drag myself into work every day and get dragged through the muck and the mire fixing everyone else's mistakes and laziness, but I'm growing tired of it. So, that's all for now. Just a quick post to let everyone know I'm at least alive...
Over and out.
Over and out.