I could cry, just CRY, today! It's been about 2 weeks since I've been to work which in and of itself it not such a bad thing. I'm not down for doing manual labor anymore anyway like I am currently doing. Working at a convenience store sucks assholes and I'm glad to be home for a while. But the silver lining ends there. I found out yesterday that I need to have back surgery! I almost burst into tears when the orthopedic doctor told me what was causing the severe pain in my lower back and left leg. I woke up a few weeks ago with an achy back and thought nothing of it. I just took it as easy as I could (which isn't that easy at all. If you've been following along I say I'm lazy when in reality I'm not) and a few days later I woke up with this awful burning in my left leg. It felt like someone was chopping me up with a chain saw. I assumed I had pulled something and it would go away in a few days. By the 3rd day the pain was still quite intense even with perscription pain killers that I'm sure the doctor didn't want me to have anyway. I called my GP and sounded like a crazed withdrawing drug addict seeking out a new fix. But the pain was so awful that I wasn't thinking clearly. So anyway the 3rd day came and I decided to go right to the orthopedic spine guy because I could tell something was terribly wrong. I got an MRI done and this time I was treated to an open MRI. I have no problem with either style it turns out. I don't mind laying down for anything and listening to the machine bang and click and clank. So it turns out I have a massively herniated disc between my L5 and S1 vertebra AND congenital spinal stenosis. I can NEVER catch a break these days it seems. The herniation is about 1cm and after consulting a ruler because I'm American and we don't use the metric system much I determined that this is a rather large displacement. So the doctor want's to go in, move the nerve that's being crushed, and scrape out the exploded material or whatever. I'm nervous and rathe rupset. Disability pay AGAIN which is nothing when you make jack diddly as it is. General anestesia also makes me nervous because sometimes you don't wake back up. I don't want to be a Morbid Mary but there are always risks. At what point can I either get a safe desk job so I can sit and work without feeling like an empty husk at the end of the day, or a TV talk show where the most I'll have to do is stand up to greet my guests, or does someone just pay me a livable wage to work from home where I can drink coffee all day and get a lot of work done? If anyone out there is listening PLEASE get in touch me with! I'm losing my grip! :) Anyway, I'm off to try and figure out how to record video and make my first YouTube posting. Wish me luck, please watch if you fidn yourself in my YouT